Cue the Muse!!!Sidenote: this song has nothing to do with this post, except the title. But it’s a good song. So there’s that.
So here we are, a month into second semester, and this is when I begin freaking out.
This is what I feel like:
I have only three months until my contract is up, and my time in Thailand comes to an end. THREE MONTHS?! Where the hell did all the time go? Back in February, I was thinking, “Oh, if I don’t get to it now, I’ll just do it second semester.” Well, second semester is rapidly going away.. we’re already near midterms! There’s still so many things I want to do and places to see, and I get anxious thinking about not being able to do it all. I have to keep reminding myself to be realistic and that there’s no feasible way to see everything in Southeast Asia, or even just Thailand, that I want to this time around. I have to prioritize what I really want to do, and then the rest I’ll just have to save for a return trip.
Despite this reality check, it doesn’t help me not feel depressed about it. I’m sort of over the whole teaching thing already, and I’m totally stoked to go home and see my friends, family, and the East Coat (Beast Coast for life!), but I’m not done traveling yet, dammit! I MUST SEE IT ALL!!! When else am I going to be so close to so many places? The Malaysian beaches, the Singaporean nightlife, the Laotian rivers.. they’re all within my grasp! I imagine this conversation playing out when I get home:
Random person: So did you get to see XYZ while you were there?
Me: (getting sad again) No, I didn’t, but I really wanted to!
Random person: Oh man, I can’t believe you were so close and didn’t go!!!
Me: >>>>>:(((((( (shoots lasers out of my eyes at random person)
This is where I am mentally right now, a big ol’ mess of alternately wanting to go and wanting to stay, and it’s driving me bonkers. I’ve been keeping pretty busy with school, aerobic dance class (my knee despises me right now), Game of Thrones binges, and weekends in Bangkok, so the time seems to have gotten way from me. We have a 4 day weekend coming up in July, and then I think we will have another one in August, but then at the end of September, I’m done! Time certainly does fly by when you’re having fun. And not having enough time to jetset around this beautiful corner of the world is not a bad problem to have. Nothing that a massage and a gin and tonic can’t solve, anyway…